💗 20231231

I tried to write... but I really couldn't write much... as my thoughts are a whirlwind... "Hossana" and "It is well" are just playing in the background, and just moments before, it was 嘉宾 and 只是太爱你... 

I am just very thankful for December, and everything that builds up to it.

There was some amount of rest; it was the first time I could take 13 days off, and with that and the weekends, it's been more than half the month. I had 2 amazing trips, one to Vienna and one where my favourite people came to visit me in Abu Dhabi. God has just been amazing and faithful, despite my weaknesses and my fragility so many times. 

I looked back at the year, and I really cannot describe in just one journal how it's been. It's been amazing at times, overwhelming others, and many times, I think as I go through one season, I get to know myself better. I think I learnt so much about myself throughout this year, much more compared to other years. I was touched by the Christmas sermon, when PK preached about darkness and how darkness is in itself necessary and a blessing - and where through dark times, we learn and mature, and grow. I think... this year has a couple of such times. They may not be totally dark, but what I think is that I've learnt about myself more through them. I think 2024 will still be that journey. 

I took up tennis more seriously in May. And this was somewhat a lifeline for me, for me to pour my emotions into, whenever I felt down and out. Yes, I learn techniques and enjoyed them, but just like running, tennis has also become a "time-out", for some me-time, even if I am playing different ones on the court. Maybe I get impatient some days, maybe I want to improve, but... it's been a tremendous time of learning, hitting, me-time, reflection time. :)) And, it's apt to say that I've ended my 2023 with one last hit. 

It's "You are my Sunshine" playing right now. :))

And - I am very grateful and my heart is overwhelmed, for the last 7 - 9 days. I had the most amazing time with everyone.. thank you Sabie, Lips, Daph, Ranie, Jon and Rena. You guys... are just Wao Wao Wao. I am so glad you can share in a little bit of my Abu Dhabi life, and see Kenji. Some ties, are for a long long long time.. It's amazing how everything came about. :))

The most precious times to me are not the visiting of the places, but the HTHTs we had at different moments, and throughout the night, especially the 2nd last night, where we gave thanks, we talked, we sang songs, we laughed ourselves silly. It's raw, it's real, and it's what is most special to me. Thank you, my dearest friends.

I can only sum up my gratitude in this one video here. And, I actually did 3 takes for this. The 1st 2 times, somehow, wasn't saved... me not the most savvy of all when it comes to video editing, but finally, this morning, I got it sorted out. :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAwVPaD5WZw

And, my favourite photo of the trip. This. Maybe one day I will become her helper when she sets up her vet clinic. 

Looking at the above, I think one thing rings so true - seeds. We reap what we sow. I pray that I will continue to sow good seeds, and despite my fragility and weakness, that I will continue to sow, and bring much to the people around me. 

And - John 3:16 - for God so loved the world, that He gave his only begotten Son... May I always remember how much God has so loved me, and that I may continue to do my best and do my best for Him. :)

这星期 - 感恩

悄悄地。。。以12月了。时间。。一年， 也就这样过去了。这时刻的我， 也该收拾下心情。毕竟多两天， 我也开始放长假了。星期天的感觉，就是有点安静。。。

Honestly, I have not written here for a while, because muses do not come. Or when they come, I did not capture it in time, and they leave. But I have also promised that I would write here, and so here it goes. 

To Wei Wei, I am so glad that God is faithful and true. The years that bind, miraculously brought me to visit half a year ago, and to pray, believe and trust together with you. And 2-3 weeks back, when you buzzed me on whatsapp, your "wa liao eh still not up"... and I knew, I knew things were getting better. :) This blog is also a testament of the friendship. It's this many years that I've already known you. The Lord will protect and keep you and your whole household safe. 💓

For me, perhaps, to re-start the engine here, I will just thank God for my week.

As last weekend was the UAE national day weekend, it was a really good 4-day break. There was ample rest, fellowship, food, gatherings, and lots of tennis. I recalled that on that Friday, as it was a half day and it was a declared work-from-home, I woke up earlier and went for a run. I don't recall running early weekday work mornings, so that morning was special. It reminded me of the SSG days, where as I woke up super early for work or meetings, some days, I will take a time out to go for a short jog or swim. 

Mornings are just beautiful. And I remember that during covid days, I will also steal a run round the big stadium. There will be those lone runners as well; we just quietly do our rounds. :)

I have had some good moments at work too. It's very different dynamics from the past DG office team, with us now being in a very local team. Some colleagues have also been seconded to join us, one key project got approved, it's the end of the winding down season.... so I think while it's been very challenging at one particular point in time, I am still grateful. Celebrating National Day at work was a recent one. These next 2 days, I will also focus on closing this work year, and hopefully, 2024 will be a greater one. 

My week felt like it just went by super fast too. I think, this week, I enjoyed tennis a fair amount. On Friday, I felt it was a good session. Roberto said it was the cleanest one thus far, and I was happy. It's not been that easy, trying to unlearn and relearn, and what seems beautifully and gracefully executed with so much finesse, is really not so easy on the courts. It's been slightly more than half a year. I started getting serious in May, and along the way, there were lots of "milestones", and also challenging moments. Today, I started my day with the mass session, and then did 2 baskets of serves to practise thereafter. Again, it was a beautiful morning. 

Amazingly, this week, I was able to clear my fridge as well. It was a tad hard work, to take out all the leftover food, for me who doesn't cook, and to try to innovate with them. The fact is that all the heavy lifting has been done, all I did was add in all the veges and multiplied the left-overs. Still... that was effortful, and yet very satisfying. I had numerous such meals. So yummy, so thankful.

I also got to know a new SGP. We had dinner on Friday night... and talked a long long time. By the time she left, omg, it was almost 2am. I do not know how it happened, but perhaps, it was just what Friday nights are. Sometimes, people enter, people leave. For now, I am just glad I could help support her first journey into Abu Dhabi, and in her apartment finding. 

I decided to buy myself a tennis t-shirt just right before dinner, after tennis... to remind myself of the good Fri tennis sesh. :) Zsc wilson shop does have bargain steals at times, though very seldom. 

And my body has been sore and tired at times. Tonight, was to be a massage night, but Liezel was not able to make it last minute, and so I went down town to just get my fix. So thankful that I have a car now. This 4-wheel experience, is like a cocoon... it somehow offers me a safe space, and takes me to different places. Thankful. 

Finally, as with all things December, it would never be complete without my usual once-a-year-same-same-Christmas-tree-with-Kenji-stare. 💓 I managed to set it up in less than 5 mins. So awesome. It brightens up the whole home with a Christmas feel. 

As with every week as well, this Sunday too, will give way to Monday. I am happy that we are in December, and I wish December will last longer. But that too, will pave the way for the new year. In 2 days, we will be going to Vienna, to have the first experience of Europe's Christmas market. It will be an amazing wintry white Christmas. And then, my besties will visit. The folks who have shaped me, journeyed with me, and have been so generous to me - they will come and spend Christmas together. So looking forward. 

This Christmas, shall be the best one yet. 💓

Seasons

This morning, when I was running, I decided to listen to Kit Chan. And, this beautiful song popped up. Here, the season is changing too. It was getting warmer, and then this week, it became colder... 

How apt... as I googled this song, I realized that it's also called Seasons, or at least, someone has translated it as that. The season is changing where I am too. From the cold winter, there is some warmth recently. Today was cloudy, maybe even some raindrops last night... but soon, it will become really hot. Such is the beauty of life. It can be grey for a while, but this too, shall pass. God has given us great strength. Today, I am reminded of the beautiful story of Lazurus, and how he was brought back to life when it seemed that all is lost. I am too, reminded by Victor Frankl's quote - He who has a why to live for, can bear almost any how. 

I took out my guitar, decided to play this song. Fingers are painful as it's been a while, but... all worth it.

https://youtu.be/0kmQQS0S7rw

天冷就回來 (If There Are Seasons)

Kit Chan (陳潔儀; 陈洁仪)

從前對著收音機　學唱舊的歌

我問媽媽為什麼　傷心像快樂

媽媽笑著　說她也不懂得

我想出去走一走　喔　媽媽點點頭

 

天冷你就回來　別在風中徘徊

喔　媽媽眼裡有明白　還有一絲無奈

天冷我想回家　童年已經不在

昨天的雨點灑下來　那滋味叫做愛

 

嗚　別在風中徘徊

嗚　天冷就回來

 

漸漸對著收音機　學唱新的歌

我問朋友為什麼　作夢也快樂

朋友笑說　她從不相信夢

我想出去走一走　喔　朋友點點頭

 

天冷你就回來　別在風中徘徊

朋友的眼裡有明白　還有一份期待

天冷我想回家　年少已經不在

今天的雨點灑下來　那滋味就是愛

 

現在對著收音機　聽自己唱的歌

我的他問為什麼　幸福不快樂

我微笑著　說我也不懂得

他想出去走一走　我對他點點頭

 

天冷你就回來　別在風中徘徊

我猜我眼裡有明白　還有一絲無奈

天冷他沒回家　我仍然在等待

明天的雨點灑下來　那滋味就是愛

 

嗚　別在風中徘徊

嗚　天冷就回來

https://lyricstranslate.com

Japan 2022 💓

Tonight, I've enjoyed myself so much... Work has not been the easiest this week, but still, thank God that we are a good team, with good colleagues around during this transition period. Much is happening, and we just need to keep on keeping on. :) 

So, I am still thankful tonight. 

I ran. Walked K. Showered. And it was so cold. I had to turn on the heater. So cold. I had dinner, and decided to do another video and then start on the writing here. It's almost 1115pm, and I've made myself a gin and tonic. Maki had asked me this morning if I would be writing about Japan. And I have always wanted to, just that to write about Japan, I would have so much to write, that I'd need the 灵感, to fully express how I felt. 

It was possibly one of the best trips in 2022, not so much in the same way I described Spain. Spain was fun and exploratory, but Japan was reflective, and most times, really about hthts and the good conversations. I had made a decision to go Japan because I needed it. I wanted to get away for a bit, especially to spend time alone and think about the year past and the new year ahead. And I am grateful, because when I felt I needed a getaway, it was almost magic. It just happened... Thank you, Sabie. 💓

I cannot express how much the trip meant for me. I had gone there with just one intention, to feel. To have all my senses awaken, to remember, and to touch, smell, listen, taste, see, and experience in my heart and understand. Someone recently talked to me about being in the moment and mindfulness. I think, Japan was like that. Because it was a getaway, there was no rush. I was in the moment, focusing on what I was doing at that point in time, and that was beautiful and fulfilling. 

I felt the cold gushes of air everyday. I felt the hot onsen water. I can hear the jingles and hustle and bustle on the train platforms. I can see the rows of quiet neighbourhoods and the windows of the apartments and wonder about the lives of those within. I see the autumn leaves and colours and I love how they lined the streets. I hear the cars. the retail staff saying Irrashaimase. I can taste the oolong cha, the green tea - that bitter-dry fragrant taste. I can smell the familiar Japanese smell - the trains, the hotel room, even the winter coats. It's an eclectic mixture of old, new, past, now. And I think because I was conscious about wanting to feel, I really did feel so much more this trip. :)) 

I also felt I had a good rest. We took it easy, 自然醒， and it was a one-day one-thing agenda. 

And it was special to meet Maki again, after 5 years. 

I learnt that as long as the heart is there, distance does not separate. While it may be physical separation, the connection was alive and real. The understanding remains and the support and care continued. The last day where we had Starbucks, it was as if I had no idea when we would meet again, but I truly just wanted the very best for this dear friend, and we prayed. There is nothing permanent, and I learnt this through life too - in the end, as morbid as it sounds, death will separate regardless, but there is always hope in Him, in eternity. まきちゃん頑張ってね。いつもまきちゃんのことを大切に。And while we can, we cherish, and we live and give the best we can. 

I learnt too - that it takes a lot to build. These 2 friends have seen me through my 30s, maybe from my late 20s for Sabrina. And there is so much sharing, both ways. The vulnerability and the trust - all these are precious and are God's gift. Gal 6:2 - Carry each other's burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of God. So good, so true. May there be so much more deepening; so many more good years to come as we sow into each other lives, carry each other's burdens, even in different lands. :) I think, I must say that after 6 years away from Singapore, this is a reality lived for me. I am ever ever so thankful for the people who matter in my life, and they would know who they are. 

And perhaps, the most important part of Japan is the realization that it has been a most important part of my life and will always have its special place. While I was there only for a particular season, the love never stops. It almost felt engineered and I know it's God. In university when I wanted an exchange there, I somehow landed that. Then I wanted to work there, and it happened for me. Even this blog was stared because of that. And then I wanted to do ministry there, and I had that experience several times. Even though I thought I could live there for a longer time, I didn't, and returned to Singapore. Yet, through all these years, with life taking me on some very different and uncharted paths, I have always gone back, and I can always feel and remember Japan and the times spent there. 

So I know, some experiences will be for life, etched there for a reason. 

I don't think I have described enough how I felt, but then, this is a part of me at 12am, and how I have felt tonight still. Tonight is the kind of night where while things may seem a little out-of-control, sanity and joy comes back when I think about what I can be grateful for. A thankful and joyous heart is always the best medicine (Prov 17:22). 

Again, feeling happy that I managed to pull the video together. :) It's been a most memorable week in Dec.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8O08p48nN8&t=14s

So blessed so blessed

This morning, I woke up feeling homesick. When I touched down last night, I already felt it... and it was that feeling where I felt Singapore brought with it much strength, support, love. Because I have been so blessed this whole CNY (or LNY) trip; there was just such overwhelming love from everyone. 

I am feeling much more eased in now. :) Ran a little this morning, and brought K out for a spin. Poor boy - he thought I was going to put him in camp again and shivered thru' the ride. 

And as I reflected and drank my coffee, I also made a video of memories. Haha - feels a little accomplished. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZY9HKlx3el8 

The new year will really start tomorrow, with change in DED and with the next 11 months ahead. It was just a month ago that I came back from Japan. It was just last week that I landed in Singapore. These last 2 months have flown by so incredibly fast. :)

And it will be the best ever year ahead. 💓

Thanksgiving - To God be the glory

What a beautiful Sunday, the last day of a most amazing 2022. I had a wonderful week this week, and it was a beautiful Christmas last Sunday, and a most amazing time in Japan of rest and reflection. 

Service reminded me of the importance of knowing who I am in Christ, to be diligent in all that I purpose to do, and to walk with Him daily. 

There is so much thanksgiving packed into this cold and cloudy Sunday afternoon. I wrote, journalled and reflected, of course, with a cup of coffee. 

And at the end of the service, this beautiful song touched my heart. I have not heard it before; it is one of the older hymns (before I gave my heart to the Lord). The lyrics and tune just kept ringing in my heart and head. 

To God be the Glory; His blood has saved me; His power has raised me. 
This is my thanksgiving for 2022 - gratitude for His goodness, for all the things He has done in my life. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0RZTYDPavEY

My Tribute - To God be the Glory (Andrae Crouch)

How can I say thanks

For all the things you've done for me?

Things so undeserved

Yet You gave to prove Your love to me

The voices of a million angels

Could not express my gratitude

All that I am and ever hope to be

I owe it all to Thee

To God be the glory

To God be the glory

To God be the glory

For the things He has done

With his Blood, He has saved me

With his power, He has raised me

To God be the glory

For the things He has done

Just let me live my life

And let it be pleasing, Lord to Thee

And should I gain any praise

Let it go to Calvary

With his Blood, He has saved me

With his power, He has raised me

To God be the glory

For the things He has done

The running week

How and where shall I even begin, that time has flown, or "ran" by this last one week again. And in fact, it would have been the last 2 weeks, or last 2.5 weeks. It seemed so far ago that we had that run, and yet it was just last Saturday. Last Saturday this time, I think we were all feeling so good, and body so sore. 

I clocked a personal best. Never did I imagine that I'd be able to do under 55 in my life. I remember that I thought my goal was to get it under an hour when I started to enjoy trail running. I honestly felt quite happy - it's just been consistency - the weekly weekend runs, and the regularity of just putting on my shoes and head out, not because I enjoy running all the time, but because there are days where I just need that time out. 

This is the group of friends who have kept me going especially the 3rd quarter of 2022, planning out our weekly runs and then having a good dinner thereafter. We actually did this for the last 2 ADNOC runs, and this is pretty amazing. It became so much more enjoyable because of them. 

And at this specific moment, I am in the hotel room, in Ikebukuro, waiting for Sabrina to sort out some stuff, and just felt I wanted to capture some thoughts. I could spend my time thinking about Abu Dhabi and the post-trip matters and work, and I could spend my time thinking about Christmas - and wishing all a joyous and merry Christmas, and I could spend time thinking about people I love and how next year will be, and I could also spend time planning ahead, etc... but there is nothing more I want to do than to capture these last 2 weeks. And for now - the running week first.

I had an awesome time out with Neha and Shan earlier in the week - we chilled and talked for some good solid hours, and Shan stayed over at my place. Workplace relationships can grow and blossom. I am thankful for these iron ladies. And - we are also all running too. Something special in that. 

And then Nikko and family came. This was immediately post run - and we had fun! Just catching up, laughing ourselves silly and dialing Kenneth in, and then playing with Nikayla - this fiesty little one - and then soon, we will all meet up in Singapore again. Again, this is a work relationship turned friendship. 

And then, there was Mubadala - compared to 2019, I thought it paled in comparison, but nonetheless, it brought some cheer around ZSC. Watched that on Saturday, but the real highlight on sports was the World Cup. Caught several several matches, and at the finals - strangers became united. I was on route to catch the plane, and 2 different ones shared their live stream with me. So Steve and I watched the match 2-0 up to Argentina at Madang, and then I caught the rest with these 2 strangers. :) I think there was really not quite some breathing space for me the last 2 weeks, because of the excitement and adrenalin. 

And then, with a last run last Sunday morning, and with a badminton sesh, it was off to AUH airport. Being busy has kept me alive that running week. Literally, it was some real runs, and it was also running from one to another. 

Busyness has its place; 

Busyness means there is much to life

Busyness is a sign that one is alive.

And yet, sometimes, busyness also takes away the mind

Consciously from the necessary thinking through and reflecting. 

Strangely, that is also good; there is some relief and respite

And when the world winds down

And especially when the night caves in

I find there is such beauty and the quiet moments 

Then, the thoughts and reflections would return

Then it's me and my space, me and my tapping away.

Busyness and Quietness - they are both so precious.